One of the worst films ever produced is this repulsive 1980s children’s movie(The Garbage Pail Kids).

You have been forewarned: it’s worse than it seems.

  • The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is an unfixable catastrophe filled with a tonne of unfunny fart and urine gags.
  • The film attempts to deliver a moral lesson regarding body shaming, yet its characters are disgusting and dishonest.
  • This movie serves as a warning on the effects of adapting particular intellectual properties, demonstrating that some should be kept unadapted.

It was only a matter of time for me to be forced to endure what very well may be the worst movie ever put on film: 1987’s The Garbage Pail Kids Movie. As an unashamed admirer of bad movies, it was only a matter of time. My sense of how horrible a movie may be was permanently changed as atonement for my conceit that no film is too bad to love. This movie is completely irredeemable in nearly every imaginable manner. It is a foul, childish disaster with enough f*ck and fart humour to embarrass even the worst Happy Madison productions.

It might be entertaining to see bad films. The Room, the legendary misstep from Tommy Wiseau, is as consistently amusing as almost any comedy now available. Especially at late-night showings with boisterous audiences of eager moviegoers, Birdemic and other films of its ilk are incredibly fascinating to see. These films are entertaining because they are terrible, but when films that are excruciatingly poor attempt (and fail) to be humorous, a whole different issue develops. Movies that have received high praise from critics, such as Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans, incur the unpardonable sin of being smart-ass ‘comedies’ without a single joke that really works; as a result, you can’t laugh with them or even laugh at how incredibly unfunny they wind up being.

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie fits somewhere in the middle of this chaos; its execution was poor and its sense of humour was completely off. The humour in its jokes isn’t what it’s supposed to be. It belongs at the top of the list of the worst children’s films ever made; it is a decrepit pile of garbage that stinks even worse than its hygienically challenged starring actors. Please proceed with caution if we are not able to persuade you to stay away from this movie; it is somehow more worse than it seems.

What Is the Subject of “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie”?

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie, an ill-conceived feature-length adaptation of the line of revolting trading cards from Topps Company, makes an attempt to adapt a clearly unadaptable IP. Garbage Pail Kids cards, a parody of the Cabbage Patch Kids created by Pulitzer Prize–winning author and artist Art Spiegelman, featured gross-out illustrations of mutant kids who either A) had some kind of grotesque, exaggerated abnormalities or B) were in the midst of suffering a horrifying and painful demise.

Leaky Lindsey and Snot Rope Hope were dribbling rivers of ooze-colored snot from their nostrils, while Upset Tommy and Stranded Andy were throwing up their entire body weight. Others were consumed by carnivorous plants, skinned alive, or vaporised by explosions. One of the biggest mysteries in the known universe is posed by everyone who has seen the cards and wondered how the fuck somebody created a cohesive movie from these cards.

The response? They failed to. The story centres on a human youngster named Dodger (Mackenzie Astin), who is tormented by a nasty drug dealer named Juice (Ron MacLachlan) and works at Captain Manzini’s (Anthony Newley’s) curiosities shop. Captain Manzini is a retired magician. He has fallen in love with Juice’s girlfriend Tangerine (Katie Barberi), who has enough years on him to make any relationship they do wind up in dubious at best. This furthers the situation. The titular Garbage Pail Kids are accidently released into the world after Dodger knocks over a weird garbage pail, which just so happens to be leaking a thick, foul green slime, one day after being threatened by Juice and his pals.

Valerie Vomit (Deborah Lee Carrington), a persistently queasy young woman who takes satisfaction in acting in the way you would anticipate, is one example. Tessie (Susan Rossitto), who is always covered in buckets of gushing mucous, is messy. Ali Gator (Kevin Thompson) is a bizarre half-human, half-aligator hybrid whose lunchbox is filled with bloody human remains and whose love of toes borders on fetishism. Hey, too! Greg the Greaser is there! Stupid Phil! blustery Winston! All the crew is present!

Dodger’s efforts to evade Juice, pursue Tangerine, and stop the Garbage Pail Kids from transforming the planet into an unavoidable hellscape are central to the storyline. They break Juice’s vehicle like a pancake when they steal a Pepsi truck, get high on caffeine and sugar, and drive recklessly about town. Some people visit the theatre to see The Three Stooges. Two more people fight at a pub with motorcycles, and they celebrate by drinking a lot of beer. The ugly mechanical children match even the most horrifying body horror productions in their level of unsettling ugliness.

The film “The Garbage Pail Kids” is obscene and mean-spirited.

The Garbage Pail Kids

It’s perplexing that The Garbage Pail Kids Movie has the chutzpah to communicate a moral lesson given that the eponymous kids, who are portrayed by dwarf actors in animatronic costumes, have their own grossness serving as the gravitational force of the humour in the movie. There’s even a character whose only goal it is to urinate in his trousers anytime he feels scared, which happens quite frequently. The film tries to preach that society unfairly blames people for their flawed appearances, physical anomalies, and unusual body types as they all seek to out-disgust one another. Even if the message opposing brutal beauty standards and body-shaming is relevant and admirable, it could not come from a more hypocritical source.

Given that the titular kids, who are performed by dwarf actors in animatronic costumes, with their own grossness functioning as the gravitational force of the humour in the film, it is puzzling that The Garbage Pail Kids Movie has the guts to impart a moral message. There’s even a figure whose sole purpose in life is to often experience fear and urinate in his pants. In an effort to out-disgust one another, society unfairly holds people responsible for their physical flaws, abnormalities, and unique body types, according to the message of the movie. Even while the message against harsh beauty standards and body shaming is necessary and good, it could not have come from a more contradictory place.

By this time, the kids have disgusted and irritated you to the point that you wonder whether they might not deserve it. However, they also can’t help being so disgusting. Never did they ask to be born. The GPKs occasionally even have good intentions. To impress Tangerine, who is also a budding fashion designer, they handmake Dodger an unusual if garish coat. On the other hand, there are other times when they are farting in the boy’s face, making jesting threats to eat his toes, or breaking into “Non-Union” sweatshops (???) to steal tools. They have a long criminal history, including breaking and entering, aggravated assault, reckless endangerment, drunk driving, grand theft auto, and that’s only the beginning!

The movie’s skewed moral code is a major issue. It implies that what’s within is what matters, yet none of these people have anything redeeming on the inside. They’re all ungrateful, self-serving scum that just care about servicing their own short-term desires. Consider Tangerine, who uses a real youngster many years her junior as a pawn to enslave his younger peers for free. She has no qualms about using the blood, sweat, and tears of the weak to make her reputation and riches as a capitalist with the cruellest lineage.

Dodger isn’t much better; at the first hint of sexuality, he betrays his only companions. While Tangerine is unaware of how closely he is leaning in, he sniffs her hair. He peeks into her bedroom from behind a shrub, and it’s obvious that he has done this before based on his assurance and dexterity in avoiding detection. He’s just one awooga away from being the wolf from those Tex Avery cartoons the way he ogles Tangerine’s physique like an entree. It’s one thing to have a healthy sexual curiosity, but all this smelling and peering is excessive. If there is any romance involved, this is among the spookiest you’ll ever witness.

Manzini explains to the children that behaviour, not appearance, is what a person can choose, therefore why doesn’t he teach the Garbage Kids appropriate behaviour? Their actions are disgusting. They terrorise defenceless bystanders just for kicks. Just some lighthearted comedy was what the audience at the theatre wanted to witness. After a hard day of…biking, the biker gang at the ‘Toughest Bar in the World’ only wanted to let some steam off. Even in the days before pandemics, sneezing openly and in public was a significant faux pas that might make others sick. Imagine enjoying a wonderful supper with your family when all of a sudden several cretins burst in and start dousing you with body fluids.

The film presents two options: putting these tiny ghouls to death via compactor (!!!) or letting them exist as the obnoxious, disgusting beings they are. They may not merit an agonising death, but shouldn’t they at the very least learn appropriate social behaviour? Without their permission, you shouldn’t kiss anyone. It’s unacceptable to bite people’s toes off. It is not acceptable to manipulate the sewer’s pressure valves such that gallons of human waste are dumped into a couple’s hot tub without their knowledge. These teachings are never taught to the Kids. By the time it’s all through, they make no effort to improve themselves and instead go off into the night unaltered and prepared to wreck havoc on the world and everyone who lives in it.

Some franchise adaptations should be left alone, as “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” demonstrates.

The issue of why is raised once more after watching mutant kids fart and pee in front of others for over two hours. The simple explanation is that it was a hasty, opportunistic cash grab intended to make as much money as brand awareness alone can. Topps didn’t give a damn about the final product; they only cared about the money. They wouldn’t permit any of its authors to be preoccupied with anything other than the upcoming round of cards. When GPK was transferred to another business, according to Mark Newgarden, a creative consultant at Topps, “never any semblance of quality control” existed. Obviously.

The Garbage Pail Kids Movie continues to be the best cautionary tale about why some intellectual properties should just be left unadapted in an era where “true film” purists bemoan the flood of sequels, prequels, remakes, and adaptations. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie puts into question the fundamental idea of adaptation, leading Ian Malcolm to muse that the experiment’s planners were too preoccupied with whether they could ask whether they should. The GPK is a joke in its own existence. They have always been ugly on purpose. They could only be comparably unpleasant in a cinematic adaptation.

A board game was transformed into a genre-defying whodunnit by Clue. Based on the most well-known doll in the world, Greta Gerwig created an amazing $1 billion Barbie film. But the enormous success of Barbie rested not just on the iconic doll’s ubiquitous cultural influence but also on the extraordinary quantity of talent that was put into the film. The inevitable price we pay as viewers is the release of a Pandora’s box of Mattel-focused cinematic remakes intended to cash in on Gerwig’s movie. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie is a warning to producers.

Or perhaps this is a brilliant idea. Perhaps everything is a ridiculously awful anti-comedy that, strangely, starts to be amusing. Perhaps it’s a vomit-stained masterpiece that dissects the very nature of filmmaking, demonstrating just how low one can sink in the art of awful filmmaking and yet produce a polished “movie.” But who knows—maybe not.

Try it for yourself if you have the courage. Grab some buddies and spend a late night exploring The Garbage Pail Kids Movie’s foul sewer. Don’t claim that we failed to warn you.

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